Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
