i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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