Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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