Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
