I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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