if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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