and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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