Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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