Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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