You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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