dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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