i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
