Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize