Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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