Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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