Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
