If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think I won the penis lottery.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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