yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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