I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
