you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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