Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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