Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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