Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
