So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
