i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
