just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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