Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
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