Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
