Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
