Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
