This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
