where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
