a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
