How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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