break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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