Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
