Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
