No, you can still breathe under the balls.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
