i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
