So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
