Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
