what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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