You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
