actually, I'm a sock model
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
