Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
