wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize