You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
