I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
