This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
