just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
