im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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