thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
