Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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