I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
