people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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