If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
