You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
